Random Ranting

Aftermath of the Presentation

2009-04-08T00:45:00.002+08:00

If I only had 2 words to describe my feelings about the presentation, it would be, "I survived!" If you know me personally, the person I become when I present is totally different. It is possession, I always believe. Luckily, this time I was possessed by an "okay" spirit.

I am very passionate about this subject (refer to my biodata if you like) and I felt I did not do justice to the secondary sources I read. I am the fool who watched Steve Jobs' keynote address but still did not perform very well. In my anxiety to cut words and add pictures, I forgot to organise my slides and what I speak. Looking at the confused faces, I should probably have included more text and punchlines. I think I spoke too fast too and rambled at certain junctures.

I am grateful for Yuvraj's optimism and relative calm compared to me. I am a worrier and the short time we had to prepare just made me panic more. Furthermore, Yuvraj's laptop crashed last Friday and my laptop keep having wireless problems. However, I think both of us were acceptable given the circumstances.

Thank you to the audience for the questions. Dinesh, I liked the glamour question and I felt it was such a great question your group should address it too. I do not wish for a great impact but I hope after seeing this presentation, you would try your best to reduce and reuse. We still have too many years left to live on this planet to destroy it in our time.

One step from the highest ecelon of total genius.

2007-07-17T01:09:00.001+08:00

Further musings on the Virginia Tech shooting

2007-04-19T15:23:00.000+08:00

To escape from mugging, I have been reading many articles on the latest American campus shootings online. And feeling more and more depressed.
There was this guy who actually commented that the way to stop future shootings is to allow everyone to carry guns on campus. He actually has the audacity to say that if everyone could carry guns, the killer would have been gunned down before he could kill more people. HOW WOULD LETTING EVERYONE MURDER EACH OTHER HELP THINGS? Can you imagine if you were the one who shot dead the killer, someone else rushes in with their own gun, thought you were the mad mass murderer and kills you? And the process repeats till some sane person stops the madness. This is just one hypothetical suituation...
Stuff like this makes me want to kill myself than live and understand the underlying chaos in this world.

American Uni Shooting

2007-04-19T11:03:00.000+08:00

Random thought while studying (not that I am doing much). That South Korean killer is freaky ugly, typical Asian Chinese Yellow ugly. Oh yeah, no wonder he shot himself in the face, disfiguring his face so horribly they took some time to identify him. BUT I am ugly (and fat, worse) too and I don't go around shooting people.

I can barely pass my first year and the people he killed are promising undergraduates who are gonna graduate soon, graduate students and VERY smart professors... Gee, in terms of absolute value, I deserve to die more. Sobering thought, better get back to studying soon.

Anyway, I was talking about this case to my mom and ranting about effective gun control and she looked me in the eye and told me knives will work just as well in indiscriminate murder. Coming from a police officer, another sobering thought. Yeah, guess there is a million ways to die. If you have the intent and the opportunity, you will succeed in killing. Actually, I was quite surprised there were only 30 plus deaths, considering the accuracy of handguns in close proximity. I wonder when the next school killing record will be broken. I cannot recall if there were any injured people. If there weren't, this guy really shot to kill and the rest of the bullets were warning shots or that testosterone-driven nutcase just wanted to hear the sounds of gunfire. But then again, the kill to bullet ratio is very low in the world, thank god for that or many lives would be lost.

Last random non-sequitur, hope I don't meet him in hell. I make sure he feels that a bullet to the head is more desirable. I hate self-righteous people even insane ones.

Catharsis

2007-01-28T18:15:00.000+08:00

I just need to rant about my slack-ness!!! All my new year resolutions have went flying out of the window! All the crap about pulling my C.A.P., BULLSHIT! I have not done any academic work (I didn't even touch my school bag except to get it out of the way so my aunt can vaccum the floor) since my lab session ended on 1pm Friday! All I did since then was sleep a total of 16 hours, give or take a few hours, watch 8.5 episodes of Hana Kimi, 1 episode of Goong S, a few minutes of Maple, and GOD KNOWS how many holes of Pangya. FUCK! What the hell is wrong with me! I STILL GOT a computing assignment to hand in tomorrow and I'm shit at computing! WTF did I get cs1101 in the first place! IT KILLED MY GENERAL ACCOUNT POINTS SOMEMORE! I spent 500++ bloody points to go into a module I probably will FAIL. FAIL, you stupid head! FAIL!

P.S. I just had to post this or I go mad. Probably because my period started yesterday. Everything I come into some kind of equilibrium about the gender divide, I get my period and I just think, "DAMN all males! BASTARDS! No need to suffer this kind of trouble their whole god damn shorter lives."

Lesson Learnt

2006-09-30T08:21:00.000+08:00

I will never join a game design competition in my life again. NEVER, unless the game in question is only a concept which yes, I can polish and crap a lot about it. For 24 hours of a competition, I spent 11/12 of the time watching tv, watching anime, playing games, writing 3 versions of a story that went from plausible to absolutely nutcase. I managed to watch a 2 hour long anime movie for god's sake Sleeping is high on my agenda now.
A silent accepting withdrawal is imperative now. To minimise the "face loss" if anything else. It was a disaster of HIROSHIMA's proportions. Two teams of strangers unwittingly thrown together. Bound to be conflict.
BUT I NEVER MET MORE BIG-HEADED GUYS in my lifetime. FUCK IT ALL. I mean if it cannot work, it fucking cannot work. And they KEEP assuring they can do it, its possible. DAMN, I am freaking useless at game design but even I know not to upset a whole kettle of fish when I see it. ARGH!
Cannot blame them totally, I concede that, we were just too naive. By we, I meant me and my poor friend Peishan who drew till she puke blood most of the images. All I lost was an entire term break. GREAT! If I flunk that Biodiversity test, I am just gonna tell myself I deserve this shit because I was steeped in shit.
Done many projects in JC , academic or competition. Worst competition group I was ever in. Good experience through. Proves my theory that I can only succeed in groups with males when I can effectively boss them around. Alan, Zhenhui, Wee Tit, Kuah Chieh, what the fuck were all of you when I miss you most. Ok, I include that senior guy, Adrian and Samuel. FUCK IT ALL. Even Ting Long functioned better as a teammate.
End of rant, lack of privacy...

NUS finally! SCHOOL! YeAh! Pour on the sarcasm, man!

2006-09-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

The 4th week of university is over and I am SWAMPED with homework. I am in deep shit. Having not done homework conscientiously since Sec 1, I am faced with the prospect of having to do homework every week just to cope with tutorials. As of now, I got 7 undone assignments, out of which 4 counts towards my final grade. CURE MY PROCRASTINATION! Someone! Please, anyone!

(This quick entry was typed at the bequest of Eel, who say I must clear the bloody cobwebs of my bloody blog.)

At Long Last, an Update on My Meaningless Life

2006-04-12T02:11:00.000+08:00

Reread my few blog entries and I realised how much my English has deteriorated. I haven't written anything in the English language since Dec 3, my SAT test. In fact, I think I hadn't even had a decent conversation in English in months. My life is a meaningless bore. I work long hours at a job that basically involves sitting around doing nothing until a customer comes and they come rarely. (It pains me to write this, where are all the sudden flashes of vocabulary that enable to piece together a coherent sentence, they are gone and I'm ranting.) I met two new friends on the job, they are both so different yet I think they are closer than I am to them. I shall confess on this blog I feel deeply apologetic about canceling on the last minute on them due to my paranoia. Oh never mind!
I did not go out with a certain someone twice in the past few months and that is something I regret. Just penning this down to etch it in my heart so I will never do it again.
I been reading a lot. My colleague asked me how many books I read in my life. I was mystified, after all my years of library trawling, I never thought about the number I actually read. It must be in the hundreds or even thousands. Just finished I, Robot by Issac Asimov. If you think it is anything like the movie, you are wrong. I love it, it forces me to think and reflect and that is rare of a book. Rule 1 of robots: They must not harm humans or by their inaction, cause a human to be harmed. Rule 2: They must obey humans, unless that is in violation of the first rule. Rule 3: They must seek to preserve themselves, unless that is in violation of Rule 1 and 2. Pretty comprehensive huh?
I been sighing regularly these days. Oh, how I hope I get something interesting to do!

A truly Pleasant day...Not

2005-05-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

Today, I was confronted with the conservative and hypocritical behemoth of an education institution that is Anderson Junior College. Roused from my comfortable, air-conditioned seat in the homeroom to the hall this morning by the detestable voice of our familiar Vice Principal, I dragged my weary body to the hall, which was all brightly lighted. It gave a theatrical feel to the whole thing, which it was, as the school administration later performed a most startling play about hypocrisy. First, a teacher came up to set some truly anal retentive rules for College Day on Saturday. Because they cared so much about that Tharman Shanwhatever. They just want to show us as prim and proper mindless drones that are all nerds and muggers. Dressed properly clones. We are all supposed to clap politely, no cheering, no jeering, nothing extreme, you know. PRETENTIOUS! (Word contributed by Pea)
Then we were FORCED to sing the school song. You know what, we sang only to get away from singing that shitty song yet again. HAHAHA! I cannot believe we sang the school song, which incidentally has no tune and the most FAKE lyrics ever, twice just to please the school administration that we will not ScReW up on Saturday. It's asinine.
And guess what we get, the chance to rip and throw away a lousy programme and refreshments.
In the name of Yoda, pissed I am.

A truly Pleasant Day...

2005-05-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

It was a most interesting and intellectually stimulating morning. Thursday is No-Assembly Day and all students are supposed to stay in their homerooms. There came a strange announcement through today and all Junior College II students were to make their way to the hall. We then trooped happily and enthusiastically to the hall. The Vice Principal proclaimed that this unconventional gathering was to prepare for College Day on Saturday and we proceeded with the glorious and patriotic singing of the National Anthem and the solemn taking of our National Pledge. After this, a teacher went up to set some basic ground rules for behaviour on Saturday for us Audience members. We were to be decked out in our full school uniform, complete with tie and collar pin. This formal preparation was for our Dear and Honourable Minister for Education, Mr Tharman Shanmugaratnam. We must be on our best behaviour so as not to affront him.
Following, Mr Wee Wen Shih, former AJC choir Alumnus, came up to the stage to let us practise the school song. We sang first with music accompaniment but that was not perfect enough. We sang again a cappella, elucidating every word, hit every note and generally perform our school song with a tremondous amount of school spirit and loyalty. With that, we went for our lessons.

A Lousy Day

2005-05-18T12:32:00.000+08:00

First, I had to come early in the morning for a meeting. I was late for ten minutes although I tried to rush to school and wake up early. Then Adrian didn't even turn up...
I got a really long lecture over my horrible GP result...
My clique mass pon chem tutorial because we thought there was no tutorial AND no one bothered to call us to tell us that...
But now I am PMS so very happy...

Mapling TIme at ScHoOl Library

2005-05-09T16:59:00.000+08:00

I'm mapling in the school library. Really scary and freaky cuz I am so afraid the teachers will see and book me!!! But I got nothing to do till 5.45pm cuz I got math tuition tonight so I continue mapling... Haiz... Super slack.
I got 23/50 for GP!!!! Lowest ever score in my lifetime man! Gonna hang myself or something. SO depressing! Somemore, when Mrs Tan was asking for class highest, some STOOPID DUMB ASS people screamed my name. Damn! So humilating cuz I wasn't even on the high mark list! Oh, I jus realised, the stoopid math test where I got 7/30 was on the same day as GP test so maybe my brain just didn't work on that day. Excuses, excuses! Annie, why dun I jus say I never study?
Also, me and eunice pooled our money (actually $2.50 only) for a arcylic tag on the giving tree... Wrote insane clique of 12/04 or something like that. But then again, our clique is insane. Haiz. Dun noe wat to blog liao except maple rox!

Blogger Template

2005-04-11T13:56:00.000+08:00

Today, I shall comment on the use of very cute templates by my friends, Peishit and maybe Eileen, through I have never seen Eileen's blog. Well, I am a HTML idiot and never had much time to blog so my blog template is simple and I am proud of it. Disbelievers can go and die.
P.S. I want 2 learn html! I want 2 learn html! I realised my A3 level is a dismal 11 while my other friends who started later are like 27 and 13 (the last time I saw them). My level is lower than I thought. What the hell!

Maths Class Test Approaching

2005-04-04T13:45:00.000+08:00

It has come to my attention that my work ethic is at an all time low. A math test is due 1 period later and I didn't study for it. I do not even know what is happening in vectors... Crap! I better study...

Another Boring Day

2005-03-22T13:55:00.000+08:00

It's another boring second day of school. Seriously, I have no idea how I am going to pass my A levels at my current level of work attitude. I sleep the whole day and do not do my tutorials at all. Maybe I should change my work ethics soon (very soon since A levels are only months away now). I think I will only muster any "hardworkingness" when I get into a last-minute panic.
Today, there is a teacher-student debate about the virginity pledge issue. Seriously, I think it is so stupid. What is the use of taking a pledge you cannot keep?

Lame Crapping in School Library

2005-02-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

I actually have no overt complusion to type a new entry in my blog. However, since my friend Peishan (it is hard for me to refer to her as a friend since she hijacked my mp3 player for the better part of my free period) has generously allowed Eileen and I to read her blog, I shall oblige by typing some crap while waiting for my GENERAL PAPER TEST to start.
As you can see, I am exhibiting some distress at the thought that the test for the subject where I have the best marks is about to start. For one thing, I have no confidence in my abilities due to the fact I always had slack teachers for GP and not nuts like Ms Daijit who makes students rewrite, rewrite and you guessed it rewrite their work. Thus, the validity of my grades are open to question and I might not be that great at GP after all. Oh, my vocabulary abilities are at an all time slump and I seriously cannot be comparable to the great Jeremy, who regurgitates words like a walking REFERENCE DICTIONARY. That aside, I am afraid of falling asleep in a test where every minute counts in putting answer to paper.
I shall stop here, it pains me to violate my principles any further by writing inane stuff that amounts to nothing. Till next time.

A New Beginning

2005-01-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

I decided to stop the first, second, third crap in my blogs' titles. It is truly crap. No literary meaning after the first few blogs, just my stubborn insistence on continuity. I am back from Yunnan, China and school has reopened. Very stressed but still quite slack. Haiz... I fell really sick when I was in China and felt I did not do enough and interact enough with the children (or rather peer since I am not much older than them). Too late for regrets thru. I just totally fell out of love with my crush cuz someone told me he read porn!!! Okay, that is about it cuz I do not want my siblings to read this.

The fifth element

2004-11-04T15:32:00.000+08:00

I am of the element fire being a Leo. I believe my short temper bears testimony to that very well. It is now 2 weeks away from going to Yunnan, China. I am filled with trepidation. Just got my flu vaccine jab. The nurse was so surprised at my insistance to stare at the needle going in. Been doing that since I do not know when. Told the nurse I was a blood donor and all that. I guess my fearlessness is due to my lack of self-esteem thus I read a lot of books that are outside the syllabus and always try to act fearless. My extreme feminism stance may have something to do with it. I just cannot bear to think there are some things a guy can do that I cannot. Weird but true. Judging from the above characteristics, it will be a miracle if I ever get married or even find a girlfriend. Hahaha!
Cannot believe I or rather the whole team won first in the Images of Science competition. IT, yes IT was such a dastardly rubbish picture compared to the rest of them. Perhaps it was Mr Ong GLOWING synopsis. I bet he rewrote the whole thing. Hahaha! Well, I gained 50 bucks doing almost no work. I find myself too lucky sometimes. Hope my luck never runs out.
I hope I can retain my 4 A subjects. I truly love science and haiz...never mind, cannot express in words.
Sitting in the public library now with my jeans soaked through... Haha! And I said I am lucky... Irony itself... Haha!

Fourth quarterly report

2004-11-01T16:33:00.000+08:00

Project Work oral presentation tommorrow. This is it; the culmination of months of hard work, sweat and tears. Yeah right! I hate myself and I hate the project so much I want to rip things. Then again, I am violent so bleah! Something funny happened today. I smsed my cca president to ask whether there is a cca meeting on wednesday and I got "Yes, Darling" as a reply. Muahahaha! My president got sabotaged. Guess even serious people have ridiculous friends. Cannot believe my reply either: Tell your friend I am not exactly a female so I am not affected. Haha! I think I am turning nuts. The Yunan trip is in a few weeks, bit confused now. Seems like I have a lot of stuff to do...

Third time lucky

2004-10-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

At least I hope so (I'm referring to my post title). Promotional examinations are finally over and I have a very good feeling I will not be promoted and will be embarrassing retained. I can just imagine my relatives going tsk tsk tsk over me and asking me awkward questions. Results will be checked tomorrow so I better play today. I am a hopeless student.
Correction from my last blog, I do not abhor being a secretary. It is just that me stupid fool that I am feel small and little in the exco. Kar Liang has at least a morsel of leadership. Leonard and Adrian has the smarts (I fear Adrian not only got knocked on the head when he was born, he probably has genetic mutations). Tze Tong has personality at least. And I happen to have the worst academic results, at least I assumed so. Also, I got as much personality as a rock or worse. Fine, damn it...
It is perhaps with trepidation that I typed this and blogging is indeed a release. I do not seek for anyone to understand my insane and inane ravings.
Ah, the vanity of the human race. To think that our special intelligence justifies our leaving of a trace of our thoughts in an artificial server far away from us. This thoughts can be lost (server bug or annihilated by the next nuclear war) just like the rotting of books and papers. Yes, humans are indeed vain.

Second Tribulation

2004-08-28T11:53:00.000+08:00

Yes, I consider my physics test today a tribulation of my life. I am so horrendously bad at physics I have no idea why I took the subject in the first place. If I actually passed the horror, I will post for sure. Promos are inching closer and closer but I have no real idea of what I have been studying for the past year. Been a secretary of my cca has disillusioned me about leadership since I realised I'm just a drudge. Having 2 ccas is draining me. My stack of tutorials piles up.
Writing in this disjointed, incoherent and uncorrealated way describes my frame of mind. I have so many things to do I cannot even start.
Ah! The pain of indecision.

The First Wave

2004-08-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

I have always thought blogging was not for me as I have zero patience to type so much crap about myself... But I'm feeling seriously left out since my fellow put down blog friend, audrey have also been consumed by the blogging craze... Okay maybe not consumed since she got a grand total of 4 blogs... Okay, now to my life. It sucks it's in the pits, I wanna die every few minutes. My world goes up and down so fast I do not know what to think... DARN! I'm too lazy to type anymore and I got my little brother saying every word behind my back as I type... MUAhahaha! Talk about unbalanced... I think I need an appointment with a shrink.